Tim's Version for Listening>
My Son !
The teacher rang the other day, and sounded most upset
My son was caught out back of school, with a lighted cigarette
I said, "I'll come and pick him up, the stupid, little bloke
I'll be there soon, I'll just drop in and buy myself some smokes."
I picked him up and brought him home and kicked him up the bum
"Cigarettes will kill you quick, you ought to know that son
And tell me where you got them from, you sneaky little grub!"
He said from the cigarette machine, when I took him to the pub!
The teacher rang again next day, and sounded rather mean
My son was caught out back of school, with a dirty magazine
I said, "I'll come and get him, and bring the bugger home
I'll just drop this porno movie back, that I've had out on loan."
I picked him up and brought him home and kicked him up the bum
"You're too young to read that smut, you ought to know that son.
And tell me where you purchased it, that magazine you read."
He said he found it lying under my side 'of the bed!
Well the teacher rang again next day, and said he'd had enough
My son was drinking cans of beer and passing 'round the stuff
I said, "I'd come and get him, but I really shouldn't drive
'Cause I've been watching cricket, and I'm over .05
"So send the little bugger home, and I'll kick him up the bum
I'll just have another can or two, while I wait for you to come."
The teacher dropped him home and said, to him it seemed quite sane
That if my son played up again, that I should get the blame!